


Me w/o Us

by oswiniarty



Series: Hidden Block Crew [2]
Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club, Hidden Block (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, M/M, Past Torture, Temporary Character Death, listen... i really like gta verses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-10-20 15:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10665225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswiniarty/pseuds/oswiniarty
Summary: "All in all, it’s going pretty great.And by pretty great, he means really fucking terribly.The comms are down - Wallid’s beautiful, expensive comms - and there’s literally no way to know where anyone is for an evac unless someone has a flare gun."the gta au no one wanted or asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

He still wakes up screaming sometimes.

In the beginning, no one could let it go. But as the years dragged on, they slowly started accepting it as one of the things that just happened sometimes.

But maybe that’s just what torture does to a guy.

More on that later, probably.

For now, there’s an armored truck to steal and money to gain.

All in all, it’s going  _ pretty great _ .

And by  _ pretty great _ , he means  _ really fucking terribly _ . 

The comms are down - Wallid’s beautiful, expensive comms - and there’s literally no way to know where anyone is for an evac unless someone has a flare gun.

Currently, the only person with a flare gun is Ian. But he’s a little  _ really tied up right now _ , what with Caddy driving like an utter madman and at least three government agencies and two gangs following them.

“You know, maybe stealing the bike from the  _ fucking Vagabond _ wasn’t such a good idea, Jam,” Ian says to his boyfriend, wrapped around him, gun in his hand. He’s trying not to shoot either of the gangs chasing them, but the cops are way too far behind for it to be anywhere near effective.

He really wishes he could just shoot a flare so they could get an evac from Jeff, “but motorcycle going over 100 mph” and “landing helicopter” doesn’t usually mix.

Ian reaches up with his free hand to touch his comm, but then remembers that the comms are  _ fucking down _ . God dammit, Wallid.

Abandoning that plan, Ian uses the hand to grip the back of Caddy’s jacket as he turns onto Vinewood. 

“One thing I can say about the Vagabond, he’s got a nice taste in motorbikes,” Caddy says. “Also, now would be a  _ great _ time to use that flare of -”

It’s then that the Fakes manage to shoot out a tire, leaving them spinning out.

The last thing Ian sees before everything fades is a well-timed bullet going through Caddy’s head.

* * *

He wakes up screaming again, back ramrod straight as he sits up. After a few moments, he scrapes a hand down his face, trying to relax.

His other hand reaches out to the other side of the bed. It’s cold.

When he looks over, painful memories come rushing back to him.

Caddy, eyes lifeless, dead before he even hits the ground.

A closed-casket funeral.

A boat burning in Paleto Bay, the same night as the funeral.

Ian chokes back a sob, already accepting the fact that his grief wouldn’t let him sleep any more that night.

He wipes his face, reaching over to grab his phone from the nightstand.

The background is a picture of him and Caddy together, taken by Jimmy. It’s one of the shitty photoshops of them arguing, hearts around them. It doesn’t help, ever, but he can’t bring himself to change it.

He’s got three missed calls from Luke, and he remembers he hadn’t checked in before going to bed.

Luke picks up after the second ring. “Everything okay, Moose?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “No, that’s a lie. I still miss him.”

He hears Luke breathe before answering. “I know you do, man. We all miss him. It’s still tender.”

“Sometimes I feel like this is all just a big prank and I’m going to open my door for the pizza guy and he’ll be standing there, with pizza, waiting for me,” Ian says, instead of  _ I wish I could’ve told him I loved him one last time _ .

Luke knows that, anyways. Ian puts the phone on speaker and sets it down so he can put his head in his hands.

“I know he won’t,” Ian continues, “but it keeps me ordering pizza anyways.”

“We’re all going through this, Ian, so you don’t have to do it alone, okay? You can talk to us,” Luke reminded him.

Another flash of memory hit him.

_ “We’re all going through this, Caddy, so you don’t have to do it alone, okay? You can talk to us.” _

Luke had said those exact words to Caddy days after he’d been rescued. Ian didn’t think he was meant to have heard them.

He has to swallow around the lump in his throat before he can speak again. “Yeah. Thanks, Luke.”

“No problem.” Ian can hear his smile through the phone. “Don’t forget that we love you, man.”

“I love you too. I’m gonna try to get back to sleep,” he tells his friend. “You should probably try to sleep too.”

“Yeah, probably,” Luke says. “Night, man. Thanks for checking in.”

* * *

He doesn’t sleep the rest of the night. Instead, he winds up staring at the ceiling, reliving Caddy’s death over and over. He can still remember the look in his eyes before everything went to shit.

He can still remember the way he’d said  _ “C’mon, Moose, it’ll be fine.” _ before they left for the heist.

He can’t hear Caddy’s voice in his head anymore, telling him not to do something stupid.

That’s probably the worst thing.

He has no problems remembering the way Caddy looked, because pictures are worth a thousand words, these days, but sometimes he wishes he could hear those thousand words instead.

Maybe three of them could be his last  _ “I love you.” _

* * *

When the apartment is lit up by the orange light of the sunrise, he gets up, takes a shower, and stands in a towel in front of his window, watching all that he used to own.

It’s impossible, these days, for a five-man crew to run the city alone. None of the heavy hitters even do it.

Hidden Block fell when Caddy did.

Ian’s just the only one still standing here, in his lonely penthouse apartment, hoping that one day, there’d be a knock at the door and a tear-filled reunion between partners in crime.

It’s been three years, and there hasn’t been one yet.

* * *

After he puts on some pants, Ian flops on his couch, head tilted on the back to stare up at the ceiling. He should probably put something up there, considering he keeps finding himself staring at it.

Eventually, he texts the Hidden Block group chat, inviting them over for a Mario Party night, even though they’re out of the city and have been since Caddy died.

Luckily, everyone agrees to show up later in the week, and he uses that as a reason to clean the entire apartment.

He’s fine, until he finds Caddy’s phone, and breaks down crying thinking about him again.

Ten minutes later, he’s tearfully scolding himself.

“Get it together, Ian. It’s been three years. You should be over him by now.”

He knows it’s bullshit even as he says it to himself.

* * *

By Friday night, the remaining members of Hidden Block are crowded around his TV, yelling at each other over what’s turning out to be a vindictive game of Mario Party.

Handing his controller over to Wallid, Ian gets up to order them a pizza.

“I’m assuming no one’s pizza tastes have changed in the last three years?” He asks, already expecting no answer.

Thank god for online ordering, especially when it saves orders he’s only made a handful of times in the last three years.

Wallid hands him his controller back when he sits back down on the couch, and the pizza is largely forgotten about until the doorbell rings.

Ian fumbles over the back of the couch as he pauses the game. He pulls his wallet out as he walks to the door, opening it without looking.

There’s a gasp behind him, and Ian looks up, money in his hand. He goes white, dropping the money for the pizza and his wallet in his haste to pull Caddy into a hug, pizza be damned.

_ “James,” _ Ian breathes, into his neck. His hands clutch the back of Caddy’s shirt, and he feels him hugging back. A tear rolls down his cheek.

“ _ Ian,” _ Caddy says back, handing the pizza boxes off to Jeff so that they can properly hug. Ian pulls the Brit into the apartment, and soon enough the rest of their friends are joining.

Eventually, Ian pulls back, holding him by the shoulders. He frowns, clearly angry. “What the  _ fuck _ , James?”

“Ian,” Caddy starts, but Ian continues talking.

“It’s been  _ three years! I watched you die! _ ” Ian has tears rolling down his face. “I loved you and I watched you  _ die _ and now you’re back like nothing is wrong.”

Caddy puts his hands on Ian’s cheeks, and wipes the tears away. Their friends, in the background, retreat to the kitchen to give them some space.

Ian leans his head into Caddy’s shoulder. When he speaks, it’s quieter. “Why did you do it?”

“I’m sorry,” Caddy says carefully, running his hand through Ian’s hair, which is longer than it was the last time he saw it. “I had to get all the other gangs of this city off my back. I never meant to hurt you.”

“I was a wreck,” Ian admits, “when you died. I’m sure everyone will tell you that.”

Caddy kisses the top of his head. “Well, I am, notably, not dead.”

He can feel Ian smile into his shoulder. “Yeah, well, I’m glad you’re not. But never do that again, or I swear to god I’ll kill you myself.”

Caddy laughs. Behind them, they hear their friends cheering about the pizza. Or maybe about the fact that it doesn’t sound like a fight is going on.

Ian glances back towards the kitchen, smiling slightly. It’s been lonely around his penthouse apartment without them. “They left, after you died. It’s been lonely.”

“Hidden Block broke up?” Caddy asks.

“Only temporarily, at first. Jimmy and Wallid went to Liberty City,” Ian starts. “Jeff went to Seattle, and Luke went home to wherever the fuck he lived before Los Santos. We only get together now to play video games and eat pizza.”

Caddy frowns. “What about our territory?”

Ian shrugs. “Honestly it hasn’t been the top thing on our minds.”

“ _ What???? _ ” Caddy exclaims.

“Well, you kinda  _ fucking died _ , so.” Ian says, definitely not salty at all. “We were a  _ little more focused _ on trying to get the Fakes off our backs!!”

Caddy takes a step back. “I thought that-”

“You thought that by you dying, it’d make it all magically better, right?” Ian accuses. He knows that his anger, at this point, is irrational. He’s going to regret yelling at Caddy later. “Well, you’re not a fucking wizard, James. You may have gotten everyone off  _ your _ back, but all you did by dying was ruin the rest of us.”

You know those tears Ian has running down his cheeks earlier? Yeah, those are back. Caddy was always a touchy subject for him, and seeing him again isn’t making it any better.

Ian steps back and turns around, trying to collect himself.

“Moose?” Caddy tries, carefully. “Do you want me to leave?”

“ _ No _ ,” Ian says. “I want my  _ face _ to stop  _ doing things _ . Just. Give me a second.”

He turns back around after a moment, eyes red but face dry. Caddy holds his hand out, and Ian takes it, lacing their fingers together. “If it means anything to you after three years, I missed you.”

Ian smiles at Caddy, and for the first time in a while he feels truly happy again. “Yeah, I missed you too.”


	2. LS Devotee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was previously posted as its own work. i decided to add it as a chapter to this work because it makes more sense.

“So, if Caddy’s back, does that mean that we should move back?” Jimmy asks. “Cause I really liked my deal in Liberty City.”

“Running a drug ring is nothing compared to what we used to do, and you know that,” Wallid tells him, looking at the tech he’s managed to spread across the counter in the last three minutes.

“Fuck, you’re right,” Jimmy admits. 

“So are you guys gonna move back into town?” Jeff asks.

“Hell yeah. I’m sick of not being close to y’all,” Luke says. “I miss you guys.”

“Agreed. Occasional Mario Party nights are not enough,” Wallid says, making one last adjustment to the tech in his hands and holding it up. “And, now, new comms.”

They cheer, each grabbing one. 

“Wallid, these are cool as shit,” Jeff tells him.

“Yeah, I know. I built them,” he says, smugly. “Hopefully these ones won’t crash in the middle of a heist like the last ones.”

Before the mood in the room can get sad, Ian and Caddy come into the kitchen, hand in hand. Cheers erupt again. 

Caddy gives them the finger with his free hand, and Ian blushes. “Shut the hell up.”

“Look, guys, mom and dad are back together!” Luke says, with a laugh.

“Luke, oh my god,” Jimmy says, as he giggles.

“Whatever,” Ian says, with a barely-restrained smile. “Let’s get down to business, and I swear to god if any of you start singing Mul-”

“To defeat the huns! Something something daughters, sons! We’re the saddest bunch you’ve ever met,” Luke sings, loudly and off-key, ignoring Ian’s amused glare, “But you can bet, before you’re through, you’ll make men out of ussss!”

“You lost it at the end there,” Jeff comments.

“Yeah, it’s hard to rewrite the song from the soldier’s perspective on the spot,” Luke tells him.

“ _ Anyways _ ,” Ian says, trying to get them back on topic despite the fact that their motto of ‘ANARCHY!!’ is counterproductive. “We need to get our territory back.”

“What did you dicks do with it, by the way?” Caddy asks.

“Getting it back will be super easy, Ian,” Jimmy says, “considering we just gave it to Normal Boots.”

“And then they lost it to The Lost. Things change when you  _ move away _ ,” Ian says, not salty at all, whatsoever. “I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not about to start a gang war against a  _ national crime syndicate _ . I value my life over city streets.”

Caddy looks supremely offended. Ian raises an eyebrow at him. “What happened to the Ian who would go to war with the entire city just to get the right ammo?”

Jimmy winces, and Luke sucks in a breath. This, too, is a touchy subject.

Ian levels a look at Caddy. “You died.”

Wallid holds out two of his new earpieces in an attempt to diffuse the situation. “These ones shouldn’t cut out next time.”

 

**_jimmy/wallid/jeff/luke_ **

**pretzel man:** So is anyone else regretting thinking that they're back together

**waldo:** if they're not back together right now, they're close to it.

**waldo:** but if they're not close to it, then i expect us to be back to square one

**ham:** Last time we were here, it took Ian getting kidnapped for them to get together.

**ham:** I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not letting Ian go through that again.

**luke:** Hell no.

**luke:** I’m absolutely sure they’ll work it out.

**luke:** If the guy you were dating died and then came back three years later you’d have trouble too.

**luke:** Considering how bad it was for Ian afterwards, I’m surprised he’s taking it so well.

 

“Are you guys even paying attention?” Ian asks, later, after they’ve migrated from the kitchen to the dusty heist room.

Luke looks up from his phone. “We were waiting for you, man.”

“Well, we’re ready, so,” Ian starts, before turning back to look at the map.

 

**pretzel man:** Ian’s going through a lot

**pretzel man:** should we really be doing a heist?

**ham:** Hell no

 

“Hey, Ian,” Jeff interrupts. “Should we really be doing a heist?”

“And then we go down Vinewood to Meteor, and lose the cops on Spanish,” Ian says, ignoring Jeff. “Head towards the safe house on Prosperity, but if you can’t lose the cops by then  _ let us know. _ ”

 

**luke:** Is this worrying anyone else?

**waldo:** yeah

 

“Ian,” Jeff says again.

“Jeff will give you an evac if you need it,” he continues. “Remember that we’re doing this in Fake territory, so be careful, and  _ don't steal the Vagabond’s bike this time _ .”

He’s glaring at Caddy as he says that.

“ _ Ian, _ ” Jeff says, again, louder this time. “I don't think it’s the right time to do a heist.”

Ian finally looks at Jeff. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“That sucks,” Luke tells him, before turning to Caddy. “Caddy, can you step out for a second? We’re about to yell at Ian.”

“Hell no,” Caddy tells him. “I’m gonna sit here with metaphorical popcorn while you yell at him.”

 

**waldo:** square one

 

Luke sighs, dragging his hand down his face. “Fine, but you’re the subject of the yelling.”

Ian looks at Luke. “Please, can we not do this right now?”

“We’re doing this right now,” Jimmy tells him. “I think I speak for all of us when I say that we’re not going to sit by while you and Caddy keep antagonising each other like it’s five years ago, or like we’re back at school.”

“I’m not antagonising James,” Ian says.

“The fact that you’re calling him James for the first time in four years means you’re antagonising him,” Wallid tells him.

“To be fair, I was dead for three of those,” Caddy pipes up, but goes quiet when everyone turns to glare at him.

“Seriously, guys,” Ian says, even though he’s slumped in the rolling chair next to Caddy. Carefully, slowly, noticeably, he reaches out to hold Ian’s hand. “We’re fine.”

“Have you two actually gotten a chance to talk since he came back?” Luke asks, the worry obvious in his eyes.

Caddy has a look on his face that conveys the feeling of “well, you’ve got me there” which is answer enough for their four friends.

 

**ham:** God dammit

 

Jeff looks Ian in eye, very seriously. “I am not doing this heist until you two have worked your shit out.”

Caddy squeezes Ian’s hand, and Ian closes his eyes. “What about our territory?”

“I don’t give a shit about what parts of this city we own. What I do give a shit about is my friends,” Jeff starts. “And you two are my friends and I don’t want you to keep on like you’re not in love with each other.”

Ian holds up the hand currently holding Caddy’s. “Did you miss the part where we started holding hands? It’s a couple paragraphs up.”

Jeff gives Ian a vaguely confused but mostly amused look. “Listen, you guys are my best friends. Work it out. Then we can do the heist.”

“And we need time to settle our own shit out of the state,” Wallid says.

 

**luke:** Way to be blunt, Wallid.

**waldo:** you guys were thinking it.

  
Ian rolls his eyes “Fine. I’m allowing us two weeks. If it takes longer than that, let me know.”


	3. 400 Lux

When everyone clears out of the room, Ian tightens his grip on Caddy’s hand to keep him there.

“Hey,” he says, softly. “What are we doing?”

Caddy looks at him from the chair he was in. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either,” Ian admits. “Like I told you earlier, it was hard for me to get past you after everything. But now that you’re back, I don’t know what I want.”

Caddy squeezes his hand. “The only thing keeping me going these last three years was the thought of you.”

“That’s gay,” Ian says, rolling his eyes and smiling at him. He leans over quickly to peck Caddy on the cheek.

“Good thing we both like men,” Caddy says, a cheeky smirk on his face, despite how hard he’s blushing because of the kiss. “Wait, you still like me, right?”

“Fuck no,” Ian answers, cheeky, “but you knew that.”

Caddy leans in for another kiss, smiling the entire time.

A few minutes later, Caddy pulls back. “Seriously though, are we good now?”

“I’d like us to be?” He sounds unsure, but the look in his eyes is saying ‘please say yes I can’t make that decision alone.’

“I’d love for us to be okay again,” Caddy confirms.

Ian smiles, and Caddy’s heart melts.

 

The first thing they do while the Blocks tie up their loose ends is go see the Boots.

It’s been a while since Ian’s seen them. Enough time for Hana to truly take over Jon’s role after his death.

(But fuck that guy.)

The doorman doesn't stop either of them as they head towards the elevator, which is really a test of security, or a test of long-term friendship.

The elevator ride to the top is quick, a luxury that Ian doesn't quite have in his building. When the doors slide open, it’s chaos.

Well, chaos in the normal definition when applied to the Normal Boots.

Or, more accurately, chaos when applied to Continue?. Nick and Josh are leaning over Paul’s shoulder, pointing out what he’s doing wrong in the game they're currently playing.

Ian rolls his eyes, and spots Hana talking to PBG closer to the elevator. He walks over to them. “Hey guys.”

“Ian!” Hana cheers with a smile, wrapping him in a hug. He hugs her back with a small, uncharacteristic smile.

“And Caddy?” PBG says, confused. 

Said Brit waves. “Turns out I’m not dead. Crazy how the world works.”

“Yeah,” PBG says.

Ian and Hana stop hugging, and Ian finally turns to PBG fully. “So, this is a formal announcement that James is back? I guess?”

“Does that mean Hidden Block is back?” Josh calls from the couch, joining the conversation even though his attention is still mostly on the game, since Paul handed him the controller.

“No, you’re  _ playing the game wrong _ ,” Nick tells him, trying to snatch the controller for himself.

“You should've thought about that when you decided to  _ die _ , you asshole,” Josh says back, while Paul smiles fondly at them for a second.

“Yeah, we’re gonna make a comeback,” Ian says, loud enough that Josh can hear over his bickering with Nick. “In two weeks.”

“Where’s Jon?” Caddy asks.

Hana waves. “Hi, I’m the new Jon.”

“Jon died,” PBG tells him. “A little while after we thought you did, actually. Hana’s who we got to replace him.”

“Oh, cool,” Caddy says. And then he turns to Ian, raising his eyebrows. “See,  _ some _ people know how to deal with somebody dying.”

“Yeah, well,  _ some _ people aren’t in love with their weapons guy,” Ian says in return.

“I’ll go make everyone tea,” Hana says, but it’s mostly just an excuse to leave the room before they start arguing, or worse: flirting.

“I’ll join you,” PBG says, following her into the kitchen. “You two feel free to make yourselves at home, you know the deal.”

“Aw, you do love me,” Caddy says, with a dumb smile.

“Shut up.” Ian rolls his eyes with a fond smile in return, walking over and flopping down on the couch near Continue?. “Did you do the Konami code before you started playing? That makes everything so much easier.”

“Gee, Ian, we didn’t think of that,” Josh says, sarcastically.

“So you didn’t do that,” Ian confirms.

Paul shrugs at him. “Usually the Konami code makes everything harder.”

“Fair,” Ian concedes. Caddy finally sits down next to him, lifting Ian’s legs so that he can sit under them, because Ian’s the kind of person who sprawls all over the couch when he sits.

“I’m not sure that’s what PBG meant when he said ‘make yourself at home,’” Satch says, as he walks past the couch on his way to the kitchen.

“This is exactly what I do at home,” Ian tells him in return, shooting him with a finger gun. Satch pretends like the bullet hits him in the heart, and collapses until he’s behind the couch, making Ian laugh. Caddy smiles at his laugh, because it’s been forever.

PBG and Hana return with tea, two in each hand. PBG sets his mugs in front of Ian and Caddy, and Hana hands one of hers to PBG as they sit down on the couch opposite them. Continue? continue to play the game from the first couch between them.

“If you guys need anything while you make your return, feel free to let us know,” PBG says.

Satch comes around to sit on the arm of the couch Ian and Caddy are sharing. “You know, besides the territory we lost to the Lost.”

 

**@hiddenblock:** Get ready, Los Santos. The boys are back in town.

**@normalboots:** @hiddenblock Welcome back, boys.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm very sorry. i just really like gta aus, and my love for hidden block did not manage to escape that. there might be more of this??? i dunno yet.  
> title from set it off's song of the same name


End file.
